The Universe Provides (Gratitudes and Synchronicities All Rolled Into One)

The universe provided us with unsolicited oil today. Yesterday Dad mentioned that he was gonna have to order oil from Southern States since we were down to about 40 gallons. Today he happened to notice an employee of Southern States pumping oil into our oil pipe (whatever that thing is called). When questioned about what the heck he was doing, the guy said he was delivering our 150 gallons of oil. Dad urged him to check the actual name and address on the order. Turns out, it was for Uncle Donnie who lives two houses down. The guy was just finishing up pumping when all this went done. He looked horrifed for a moment, till Dad said he needed oil anyway and just wrote him a check for it. Talk about a synchronicity! We just mentioned oil yesterday, and it showed up today. Woo hoo!

I am also grateful that the little black beagle-mix dog that showed up on our doorstep a couple of months ago may be going to a good home on Wednesday.  I contacted Susan Davis last night since she runs Sophie’s Haven for animals that need rescuing/fostering/adopting.  She asked for pics, which I took today and posted on FB.  Within just a few hours Susan PM’ed me to say she’d found a possible home for him, when she had thought maybe she might only be able to find him a temporary foster home in a week or so.  So Ralphie, as we’ve been calling him, is going to meet his potential new family on Wednesday evening.  I’ll miss him, but I’m thrilled that he may be “going home.”

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Further Evidence from the “Universe” (TUT)

Further evidence of synchronicity being all around me.  Yesterday I was noticing and pondering that I often have sort of arguments inside my own head in anticipation of what others are going to say.  I anticipate somebody else’s reaction to something I’ve done or said, and then I proceed to defend myself against that reaction.  Heatedly defend sometimes.  And sometimes out loud.  Most of the time those people don’t have that reaction.  In fact, MOST of the time, they’re never even aware of the item that I thought would need defending.

So this morning, while catching up on emails, I happened to read Mike Dooley’s daily “Note from the Universe.”  I love love love these and have been getting them for years.  They are almost always spot on to what’s going on in my head at the time.  (Further evidence.)  This morning’s said, “The loudest arguments happen in your own head, and your greatest opponent is yourself.”  Wow.  Proverbial nail on the head.  He is so so right.  I’ve set the intention to try not to do that anymore.  I know it won’t change overnight because the momentum from the LOA will have to catch up, but I’m determined to at least start toning it down.  I’ve also asked the universe to point out whenever I’m doing it, as soon as I start doing it, so that I’m aware and can consciously pivot toward more positive thoughts.  The universe has been very good lately at smacking me on the head every time I jump on the negative thoughts train.

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Synchronicities and Gratitude for 11.20.13

Two new synchronicities today.  I thought I wasn’t going to get any today since I went almost the whole day without noticing any.  Both were related to conversations we had at book club last night, and both were delivered to me while reading FB tonight.

#1)  First, someone mentioned and then proceeded to demonstrate K-Mart’s new Jingle Balls commercial that features men in boxers jingling to the tune of Jingle Bells, which I hadn’t seen yet.  Tonight while catching up on FB posts, I found it on someone else’s wall, watched it and then shared it in the book club group.

#2)  We discussed a book by Maya Angelou last night, and I spent several minutes trying to remember the name of the poem that Alfre Woodard quotes in the movie Beauty Shop.  Tonight under suggested pages in FB, I clicked on one that looked interesting.  The picture across the top of the page said, in big bold letters, Phenomenal Woman.

I have a huge gratitude to share tonight also.  My brother, who has been unemployed for a year and a half, got a full time job.  He went in for training today at Cumberland Pipe and Steel, the same company where Paul and Eddie work.  I’m hoping it works out and leads to bigger and better things and lifts some of his stress.

Thank you, Universe!  Thank you, thank you, thank you!

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Gratitude and Synchronicity

I’m starting a log of all the small synchronicities that bombard me on a daily basis.  Or should I say “small” synchronicities, because we assign size – greatness or smallness – to things; that size isn’t inherent in them.  I’ve been noticing more and more that, when I think of, talk about, mention or ponder an item, for which I often need clarification, that item will show up in my existence within a relatively short period of time, as long as there is no resistance surrounding it.  Sometimes it shows up immediately; sometimes it takes a little longer and shows up the following day.

My brother and I recently got together to watch tv and hang out at his house.  We chatted about movies, tv shows, actors, etc. for several hours.  Almost every single one of those movies, shows or actors that we discussed showed up within our experience during the course of the evening in some way, either while scrolling through the guide on the tv or Netflix, or while searching the internet on his laptop for other things.  There were one or two items that didn’t show up immediately.  Those showed up in my internet ramblings the following day.

This kind of stuff happens to us every time we get together.  And I’m noticing it happening to me more and more all the time.  I know that what you focus on will show up if you don’t have resistance surrounding your thoughts about it.  So I intend to focus on, and document, every synchronous event that happens to me in the following days, weeks and months.  If I focus on them joyfully, more will show up.  I’ve been asking the universe to show me the answers to my “small” questions, and they’ve been showing up.  The more they show up, the more I begin to trust that they will.  Soon I will be able to ask for “bigger” things with the same trust and assurance that they will show up.  This is gonna be fun.


#1)  Two nights ago while on the phone, Shane and I were discussing a movie that, according to my research, took place in Kamchatka.  I mentioned that the only other time I’ve ever heard that name was in a board game that I used to play with an ex a long time ago.   We both could describe the game as involving the process of world domination, but we couldn’t remember the name of it.  Last night, while watching an episode of Ground Floor, the main character, Brody, happened to mention that his favorite game was – you guessed it – Risk!

#2)  This morning while lying in bed before I got up, I was remembering an article I had read some time ago about the ten most published English language books, one of them being The Art of War, the author of which I thought was Lao Tzu.  It crossed my mind that Lao Tzu might not be the one I was thinking of.  I asked the universe to show me the answer.  This evening while surfing the internet, I came across a new book called The Mentally Quiet Athlete.  I opened a sample chapter to see if I was interested in reading it. The chapter opened with a quote from Lao Tzu, author of the Tao Te Ching.  I googled The Art of War to find that Sun Tzu was the author of it.

#3)  The third item on this list isn’t necessarily synchronous, but it was indeed serendipitous.  I have been thinking of writing a book.  And after kicking around a few ideas, I landed on one that will be beneficial, not only to others, but also to myself.  I’ve decided that I will finally start using the law of attraction to my advantage instead of fighting against it – and subsequently, losing every time.  I have set the intention to do the following three things to kickstart this process and turn the momentum in the right direction:

1) Start noticing and documenting all the synchronicities in my life.  The more I notice, the more will show up.

2)  Acknowledge the things that I am grateful for, not only every day, but all throughout the day.  The more I focus on my blessings, the more will show up.

3)  Find joy and do at least one thing that makes me happy every day.  The more I intend to focus on finding joy and being happy, the more joy and happiness will flow into my life.

4)  Acknowledge low energy thoughts such as sadness, depression, defeat, fear, etc., when they occur, but then release them as soon as possible to focus on the things listed in numbers 1, 2 & 3 above.  The more positive thoughts I think, the more the law of attraction will bring to me thoughts (and eventually events) just like them.

By practicing these four fairly simple steps on a regular basis, I have set the intention to turn my life around and heal myself.  For almost six years I have given myself over to severe autoimmune illnesses.  These “diseases” have caused me to lose my job, have an extreme lack of money along with an inability to make enough to support myself, lose friends, lose my car, lose my home, leave the city that I love and all my friends behind, move in with friends and family, give up singing with the band, gain a substantial amount of weight, and believe that I was not worthy of a love relationship because of all of the above since no one would ever want a sick, fat, broke, loser who lived in their parent’s attic.  Well, I no longer wanna live that way.  I have made up my mind that things are gonna change.  There is no reason to live this way any longer.  I intend to heal myself.  Abraham says that any “illness” can be cured if we could learn to change our thoughts about it.  That’s what these steps are all about.  I set this intention a couple of weeks ago, and so far, it’s working.

So I’ve decided that the best idea for a book, for me anyway, the one that would flow the free-est, would be to tell the story of how I cured myself and changed my life.  There are hundreds of books chronicling life-altering experiences; people do love inspiration stories.  So I will “journal the journey.”  And once this journey, or rather this phase of my journey, is complete, I will write a book based on the journal.  I know that it will sell because I have set the intention that it will.  And once I have cured myself of disease and altered all the “bad things” in my life, I will be a master at LOA.  There will be nothing that I cannot do or be or have.  And I intend to do and be and have it all.

The idea for this book actually came to me during book club this evening while we were discussing possible titles to read in the upcoming months.  Every book that was discussed that had an inspirational theme to it seemed to generate a form of excitement.  And while discussing the book that was read for November, “This Year I Will”,  two of the questions addressed whatever goals we have set for ourselves and what we have done that we’re most proud of.  Those two things sort of collided in my mind, along with the inspirational theme.  I decided then that that would be the theme of my book.  I would write about how I was going to cure myself.  I was kicking around titles in my head, things like “Heal Thyself.”  But I knew I wanted something different.  Something not too stuffy or lofty or intimidating or condescending.  I needed something simple, yet catchy.  I released the question to the universe to bring me the right title.

So this evening, after clearing up the dilemma of Lao Tzu vs. Sun Tzu, I was reading some of Lao Tzu’s quotes.  And believe me, there are alot of them.  I was looking for one in particular, or so I thought.  I scrolled lazily to the bottom of the page, getting frustrated because I couldn’t find what I thought I was looking for.  By the time I reached the bottom and had read almost all of them, my mind had drifted and I almost didn’t read the last two, which were actually the same quote – the second being an annotated version of the first:  “Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”  A single step!  That’s it! That’s exactly where I am right now in this stage of the game, at the beginning of my journey.  A journey that must start with a single step.  Abraham always says you are where you are and you have to start where you are.  I have been too busy looking around at my circumstances, my “reality,” and letting all of what I perceived as obstacles hold me back, keep me down.  If I am source energy in a physical body, if I am truly god-force, then there is nothing that can stop me.

So now I start this journal of the journey with a single step – this blog.

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Working my way to you?

On a silent night when friends are few
I close my eyes and think of you


A silent night
A silent tear
A silent wish that you were here
“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.” – Helen Keller
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Miracles and such

“I am the miracle.” ~Buddha

Sitting here trying to focus on that thought.  I believe it, I really do.  I know it, and have complete faith in it.  But right now I just don’t feel it.  Don’t know why.  It’s not something I can put my finger on specifically – at least not yet.   It’s just a vague emptiness within me. 

Much of the time these days I feel lost.  Spinning all alone in the infinite.  Not at all in touch with the Source within me.  I tend to focus on what I think I lack in my life (money, romance, health, etc.) and forget to appreciate what I already have. I wanna try to do better with that. Wanna try to start looking for miracles in every day things.  Or that’s what I SAY I wanna do.  I start with the right intention, and I can hold it for a little while.  But then I crash back down to “reality.”  Even though I know that I create my own reality every day, and that, by focusing on it, I’m just creating more of what I don’t want.  But my mind drifts… like a leaf floating down a river.  Sometimes it’s a lazy river ride, with mostly just vague feelings of dissatisfaction that my mind centers on.  Other times, it hits the rapids and seems to spin dizzily from one discontented topic to the next. 

Money, or the distinct lack of it right now, seems to be the most frequent trigger of this discontentedness.  And from there, it spirals…  “No money” always leads to “not able to work.”  With that thought comes the feeling of worthlessness.  The world identifies us by our profession in so many ways.  And when you have to admit that you don’t work, the world doesn’t know what to do with you it seems.  You never realize how much you identify yourself with your job until you can no longer do it.  People are always shocked when I tell them how lucky they are and that I miss being able to work.  I miss the feeling of productiveness.  I miss being good at something.  I was good at it.  And now I have nothing to be good at. 

After lack of money my thoughts turn to the illnesses.  Two out of the three are so vague and undefined that doctors don’t know what to do, the government doesn’t have disability guidelines for them yet and I’m left wondering sometimes if it’s all just in my head.  I spend so much of my time these days just waiting to feel better.  It’s disheartening to think that I may have another 40 years to spend this way. 

From there, my thoughts detour to the distinct lack of love in my life.  Not from my family.  They love me and always have.  I’ve never doubted their love for me nor mine for them.  And not friendships.  I have those.  Lots of those.  But most of my friends these days are so far away.  I had to leave them all behind.  And the illnesses keep me locked up most of the time so that it often seems I’ll never make friends here in my new (old) location.  But more than that, I have a deep sucking whole in my heart that longs to be filled with the kind of intimacy that you can only get with that one person you share your everything with.  Six months isn’t that long to be alone, I know.  I’ve gone longer.  But I often fear that my lack of money and health will keep me from ever being with someone again.  Plus, the lack of activity and the emotional, depressive stress-eating have also caused a weight gain, which does its part to contribute to my fears of remaining alone. 

Where does one go from here?  Abraham says that, if the universe has the wherewithal to instill the desire within you, it has the ability to bring it to you.  You just have to believe.  Truly believe.  Unendingly and unerringly.  Which brings me full circle to my original thought.  I AM the miracle.  I just need to believe it.  And feel it.  And start living like it. 

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Overturning the bandwagon

I kept a diary when I was very young.  I was never very diligent with it.  I didn’t do it on a consistent basis.  It was just sort of ramblings of a pre-teen mind.  I’ve tried several times since then to document my thoughts.  I taught myself tarot by doing personal readings every day and scribbling their translations in a journal.  I’ve also, on more than one occasion, have kept a gratitude journal to help me focus on the good things in my life.  When I was a teenager, one of the things I thought I might wanna be when I “grew up” was a writer.  No specific type of writer, just something creative.  I loved telling myself stories.  I didn’t, however, like the tedium of actually putting them on paper.  So I mostly just daydreamed them.  To this day, I continue to create stories, for myself only.  Since the illnesses began, I find I have so much “down time” that the ability to fantasize so vividly keeps my mind occupied enough that I don’t go crazy from boredom.  So I guess a blog is just the natural progression of things…

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